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Dear First-Time Home Buyer…

first time home buyer2

Hey, we TOTALLY get it! Having your own house now is way cool! You finally get to make your own decisions and do things your OWN way. Awesome! And ‘cuz we know this is a big responsibility (no stress, right?) we’ve made you this list of stuff to be SURE to do the first year you’re in your new home. Enjoy!

  1. Politely decline your family’s hand-me-down furniture. Instead, spend countless hours searching for really cheap stuff on Craigslist that you can up-cycle and refurbish to match your style and unique decorative charm. On the other hand…go crazy at IKEA and get every possible combination of the Expedits system.
  2. Add eight different color swatches all over the walls then wait six months or longer to actually paint because you want to see how seasonal light fills the room. After you’ve finally painted the whole house, start all over again because it didn’t turn out quite like you imagined.
  3. Turn that formal dining room into a fabulous entertainment room by installing a full-size ping-pong / beer-pong table and keg-orator. Be sure to have plenty of red Solo cups on hand for those special occasions…just in case.
  4. painting

  5. Let that beautiful landscaping that you were so drawn to in the house’s curb appeal get totally overgrown. There’s WAY too many other things to do, so why worry about it now?
  6. Paint a giant 8×8 foot canvas with multiple acrylic paint colors and hang it over the bad spackle job you did from your failed attempt to mount your wide-screen TV. When your friends ask about it, say it is in fact an ‘original’. Pause for a moment to let them admire your masterpiece. Then take a slow sip of your PBR.


  8. Splurge on a $1200 Dyson vacuum then promptly rip out all the brand new carpet the sellers installed right before you bought the place because you ultimately decided that carpet is “grody.”
  9. Learn every route to the nearest Home Depot given that every weekend you will make numerous trips to pick up at least one forgotten part or supply and because, even with the seats down, you can only carry so much in the back of your Prius.


  11. Park outside since your garage is being used strictly as storage and a makeshift walk-in closet because the so-called “wardrobes” in your house built in 1949 are barely large enough to stash your winter coats and snowboard equipment.
  12. Set aside a week to 10 days of Googling and watching YouTube videos of every new tool you’ve bought and people have given you as housewarming gifts because you have no clue what each of them does.

    beer pong

  14. And finally…don’t forget to include in your monthly budget a beer allowance for the nightly tab you rack up at the local growler brew pub down the street. After all, you want to make good use of that neighborhood walkability score you fought so hard to get into.

    welcome to portland


    The Portland Home Team knows that buying your first home can be nerve-racking. We specialize in working with first time buyers and ensuring the process is (fairly) stress-free!

    – Portland Home Team: Experience. Excellence.


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